Bumper Stickers

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
Forget about world peace, visualize using your blinker.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
God is my co-pilot.
Body piercing changed my life!

The truth about car ads

Rough condition: Too bad to lie about
Parts car: Beyond repair
Immaculate: Recently washed
Dependable: Ugly
Rebuilt engine: Cleaned spark plugs
Excellent gas mileage: Slow
Drive it away: Live on a hill

What not to say to a policeman

Please hold my kids still, so I can get my license.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
I thought you had to be in relatively good condition to be a police officer.
You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
I pay your salary!
Thanks! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
May the good Lord keep your heart and sole free of sin!!!

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